Declare New Zealand’s independence from Hamilton. (Read more)
Establish a space program, and become the first nation in Australasia to send a man to the moon; not to explore it, just someone we don’t like.
Reform the tax system so that it rewards success and punishes failure. Ensure that the bulk of taxes are aimed at the greatest source of poverty in New Zealand: the poor. (Read more)
Remove the monarchy and become an independent banana republic. (Read more)
Close the pay gap between men and women by working to reduce men’s wages.
Alleviate poverty amongst children by giving every poverty-stricken child a llama as a means to a basic income.
End discrimination against social majorities. No more special services just for Maori; no more car parks just for disabled people; no more hip operations just for people who need hip operations.
Relegalise illegal legal highs. The recent government crackdown on these products was overzealous, and there is no reason that perfectly legal substances should be illegal. (Read more)
Make Wellington airport safer by moving it to Christchurch.
Defend the traditional institution of marriage as the union between one man and one volumetric flask.
Reform the Justice system so that every citizen is required to prove why they shouldn’t be in prison.
Issue a formal apology to Australia’s aboriginal population.
Maintain New Zealand’s long-term commitment to free nuclear energy.
Seek to acquire new government assets, such as Bonus Bonds and a timeshare, and be proactive in exploring new economic opportunities, including some advertisements that suggest we could make $5,000 a week online.
Ice cream.
Lower greenhouse gas emissions by placing restrictions on the number of greenhouses, and greater obligations upon trees to absorb carbon dioxide.
Bring ultra-fast broadband access to the majority of rural New Zealand by 2016 and dial-up to Invercargill by 2017.
Hold on a national referendum on the value of referenda. (Read more)
Replace New Zealand’s national anthem with the theme song from the 1996 film Space Jam, by Quad City DJs. A Maori version of Space Jam shall be composed to be sung alongside the English version.
Ban all “satire” or anything claiming to be “satire.” It has been given a chance, but too often has it proven to be offensive and difficult to grasp. No one should be made to feel upset or challenged for the sake of “jokes” and “laughter.”
Create a policy for
HEALTH: You are only allowed one free ice cream or taco a week.
EDUCATION: All school students get free tacos on tuesday.
DEFENCE: You are allowed to hire a hit man to walk around with you to make you feel safe.
BUSINESS: Free ice cream on friday for all workers.
ELDERLY: The elder citizens get no discounts or free stuff.
ELDERLY: The elder citizens get no discounts or free stuff.
ENVIRONMENT: Keep the Wellington airport in Wellington.
Keep New Zealand nuclear free.
Have New Zealand happy by supplying all people with compulsory McDonalds voucher.
I think that the defence policy is good but the health and education ones are pretty poor because how does giving out free ice cream and tacos help you keep health? and how does getting tacos help your education?
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